Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
