Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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