NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize