yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
wow bdsm is so cute
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
