Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
