the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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