:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
