you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
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