I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
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