so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
