I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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