oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Randomize
