Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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