At least make sure they are 18
Why
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
