so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize