I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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