btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
