if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
