Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
