Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
