she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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