More tranny stories later!
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
