make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
