I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
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