Some one left their pants in the elevator.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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