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So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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