Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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