I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize