Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
