But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
my poor anus
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
