Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
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