What did we do last night that was yellow?
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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