Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
