If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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