I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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