I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
