I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Randomize
