i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
