Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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