Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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