Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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