I heard we made out
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
