garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
