Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
