i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
