You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize