this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
