Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
