dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
