Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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