why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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