i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Randomize
