If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I just found a bag of teeth...
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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