She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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