I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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