she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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