doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
