I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
