it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
